i dunno the truth, so now i bleed for u ·
Your weekly progress report from Fitbit! 0 of 5 days exercising this week [same as previous week] ·
jump around, see the sun, waiting here, for the one ·
i wanted to start drawing out what the game (that I am calling ratsgame for now) would look like but i just have no idea!
so I did a small write-up of game elements I liked from other games. I put it in a different page, here: ratsgame ch01: game ui
I wrote it while singing along to "in too deep" on loop the whole time
good times!
outstanding tasks
18 June, 2024
awaa
things to do:
buy a crowbar
buy garden gloves
make a dev page for north-of-goodtown browser game
put asdf-atelier on projects page here
bite-town??? what to do with it??
resist urge to create a website for the game idea mentioned previously
reinstall windows
install linux to start transitioning away from windows (probably going to go with ubuntu ._.)
pay taxes
set up digitalocean server
yeee that's right I subscribered to a php host I do already have one (reclaim hosting) but it's turned into absolute garbage with high downtime, slow load times and feature removals. it's a big part of why I moved to neocities, but obviously neocities can't run server code so I still needed to find a replacement.
I'm going with digitalocean and it seems to have everything (LAMP, remote SQL connections, SSH/FTP) except it's not cPanel which means I have to set up things like vhosts and certificates manually, which makes it feel like my job so I'm not sure how I feel about that - it's why I've been procrastinating away from it i can start by trying to put north-of-goodtown on it.
and then I can start working on the game! !
which I still don't know what it's actually going to look like, because I don't know how I'm going to do multiplayer movement without DDOSing myself it'll be 2D side-scrolling. and it'll probably only have 8 colors . the usual :D
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(optional todo) fix my life a bit. it is currently 5:07am and i'm staring at MapleStory, hungry from not having had dinner
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here's a cool article I saw yesterday did you know 345gs5662d34 is the second most attempted username by bots? https://blog.sofiane.cc/ssh_honeypot/
let's gaming!
14 June, 2024
hello,
playing a lot of AFK Journey has increased my video game stamina, so now I am on my annual MapleStory run
i started on a new server and played all day for a week straight (except when working) and it was amazing
here's my guy in my favorite map :D
one thing my mind does when it is forced through huge consuming sprees is, it builds up a strong desire to create things, and a storm of ideas continuously zaps me
so indeed, it is also the annual time to want to make video game here is a thought dump so far -
i always want to create an online game, but i don't want to learn Unity's networking or Steam's online server channel connection whatever systerms and managing cheaters and attackers seems like a huge bother when I don't know the inner workings of how these things work. i also don't like the idea of making people download software for a game, i want it to be more accessible than that so it would be a game written in php (i.e. browser game) and it's going to be really fun for me i think
the closest past projects to my ideas would be -
ratsnet: exploration, minigame, skilltree system (though it was a placeholder :p), items, cosmetics
cocobox: live chat, pet movement, community maps, player homes, cosmetics, furniture/player home management
my brain is not working, i have slept <5 hours a night for this last week, here is a messier dump:
i love data validation
i love server-side data validation
if you think about it, runescape is entirely possible in the realm of web games. everyone is basically in a grid and you're firing actions
but that sounds really spammy on the server
but we'll figure something out
also I don't want it to be like runescape where it seems too easy to bot. I want it to be moderatelynoteasy to bot
inpisriteation:
GLITCH (the game): possibly the entire game view. maybe it should be 2d side scrolling like that. also the skill tree
MAPLESTORY: i love cash shops and cosmetics. but most of all the 19 years worth of clunk. I love things that feel full of content. also the way they have 15 events on at any given time. the skill system
NEOPETS: the inherent fact that it is a website. I want the game to be really gamey but also really websitey, instead of a game that tries to hide that it is a website
DOTA: you know, there's actually nothing i want from dota. but it gets an honarable mention. maybe the silly profile customization feature. and gambling lootboxes.
AFK JOURNEY: cash shop. gambling. cash ghop. sambling. also a warm, soul-emcompassing atmosphere that makes me want to stay forever and ignore the real world
HOMESTUCK: the bitmap style and the short animations. i would want this thing to have a story but i am no good writer but we will be ok
FISHING WITH CAT: yeah i referenced my own game what are you gonna do about it. it will have fishing for when the game is closed
yeah
!
comitia
29 May, 2024
hello,
went to comitia, where everyone sells their original art and comics
I bought from about 6 booths. here are images from two -
above is from an artist I bought from 2 years ago. was nice to see them again with new content. they draw this cute penguin with his friends in candid scenes, it's really warm to look at.
a great example of a booth that isn't traditional art: this lady is a pigeon photographer and sold booklets of pigeons. The above book is her collection of "Do not feed the pigeons" signs, organized in categories, and her comments on them. Isn't that great? it's so great. I got this book + sticker + pigeon bookmark, as pictured
the other ones are comic essays on topics like a couple being portayed as seals and their daily lives, or a storytime on when the author's father died, or a comic on why they love Haniwas so much.
people ask me if I would ever do a booth there. and my answer is always that I don't have enough consistency to present any coherent collection of works. maybe I could pretend to be 12 people and create a zine with 12 styles that way either way I wish I was technically better at art arrrrrh
o((⊙ï¹âŠ™))o.
on the way home, i was amused by a view of the train station - there was a constant stream of people moving at a consistent pace into the horizon. it felt a little spooky
the sound tone is cool though
hope you are having a nice time
keeping on
19 May, 2024
hello
found out recently that teppy is actually being used by real people strangers
here is a cool collage of the ones I have found
it made me feel happy. the new experience of people using your creativity to extend their creativity! like a cool sense of trust and acknowledgement. and people are writing about their lives on it
10+ years of me making random crap and some people have finally found something to be useful!!!
I am finding that I mention "10 years!!" into many statements. It is a prideful vanity thing but I'm still going to do it if you can't show off success or fame, you can at least show off your stubborn persistence! :D
•·················•·················•
With reading, I finally finished Crime & Punishment As usual with most fiction books I force myself to read, I did not enjoy it! I didn't even have a reason to read this book, it's like I was just looking to cause myself mild discomfort
Speaking of crimes and due punishment, I am yet to start on the crafting website. I guess that site is supposed to have things I made IRL but I have had so little interest in the physical realm lately x)
I don't want to do it, but that's exactly why I will be making it soon.
stay in tuned!
melty melty
4 May, 2024
alo.
layouts.
1 - RESIDENT SPAZ
2 - promise of a rose garden (it will rain)
3 - my mom trapped me in the basement bathroom and all I have is my bootleg gameboy
4 - collect dust
brain's been feeling a bit funny lately
shadow lemon
30 April, 2024
hello
some thoughts on the last few updates:
past layouts page - looking back at past layouts feels like at attempts at metamorphosing into something that feels right. repeatedly coming out of a cocoon, thinking "hmm. no. still not right" and then going back in again, back to being a brain soup, having to think of another form. I think I'll be happy with the current setup forever. That would mean I took over 10 years to get to something right. which is cool. I like to think that, instead of considering myself to be good at something, I just think I got to a right place because I put the time into it. It's a nice outlook. It means I believe I can get to do most things as long as I put time into it, instead of needing talent, resources, or luck
p's chatlog - I hope they never actually find the page because they would think it's weird. thank you for being my bash.org subject
photo album - was funny how down I was the whole day after having completed this. mixed feelings about loss and failure that you usually don't face all at once. I'd like to add to the album later of photos of the past, of times where I didn't exist. I'll post about it once I add more.
I did think of a sort of wishlist for the photo album, including impossible items:
the ice skating rink and the night drives after ice skating
a photo with pdog in it somewhere. i'll probably take one of the back of their head or something creepy if i see them again
volleyball court
dota TI 2024
candid bad photos are my favorite because it feels closer to a memory
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
i also recently finished a set of drawings of angels on EXILESOUGHTFINALE when I completed the first one I didn't have further plans for it, but then I started imagining them in other places so I drew that. and then i thought of drawing their past, which I already had in mind by the second drawing, but never thought to draw it ("sounds too hard") i intended their last picture to be in the same style as the others, but something went wrong (or "right"?) along the way and it turned into what it is now it's not a feeling or thought i can explain well in words (it is more like a question!), so it is times like these where one is fortunate to have other avenues
take care
in the next 4 days i'd like to try and make some cool layouts.
don;t peel away
14 April, 2024
hello
wanted to put together a page for my maplestory screenshots from 2009, it took a lot longer than expected. it was also hard to do with a headache the whole time (I went outside today :D) so I'll complete it later by adding captions for each one. page here.
recently bought one of those heart monitor wristbands now google knows a lot more about me, but it's been cool seeing sleep and heart rate patterns. it also allows you to log water consumption and I learned I only have 1L of water a day which doesn't sound good.
below are two days of heart rates
heart rate on a normal day
heart rate on 12 hours of dota
- - - - -
I haven't been in a successful creating mood lately so I was thinking of making a photo gallery page, but this orderly process of chronologically going through your entire life in the form of pictures was a bit unsettling the page will still be made, though the pictures will me made annoyingly edited and small in size
take care
april
2 April, 2024
april fools!
!!!
A little late
Why do all the cats, except for one, move to the same location? Is it symbolism of my inner turmoils towards my surroundings? Or is it because I couldn't figure out how to get them all to follow you? Just me should be all you need.
(I like to try and get the one to the other side without touching all the others)
*+~*+~*+~*+~*+
Today I gathered together some dev-related notes for my dev site, collected across multiple iterations of my site from the past
It turns out I had a decent amount that I had forgotten Including a 2000-line walkthrough That's wild
layout notes
27 March, 2024
hello,
here are the notes and drafts I had made before starting these sites
mostly nonsensical, as usual
the big map where I was trying to figure out how to divide The Content. not sure why the site for drawings is represented by a castle wall with no door. seems psychoanalyzable
was apparently very adamant about making this place EMO don't think I would actually want that
dev site. ominous random messaging
EXILESOUGHTFINALE website notes, trying to decide mascot graphic
craft site notes. craft site being the remaining site that does not exist yet. the notes do not define the site well. thus it is hard for me to work on it The cat drawings are meant to be the different icons for the menu. the pottery cat, the sewing cat, the baking cat (i like him) .... etc unrelated doodles in the middle
draft for portal suspicious happy necronomicon for last icon?
recently finished reading blood meridian and lolita
blood meridian - the first book i've read by mccarthy. the most romantic descriptions of the most horrific scenes. there was an impressionable image that I remembered from 4 years ago and it turns out it's the villain of this book. cool
lolita - it's basically reading american psycho but from the perspective of a redditor. i enjoyed the theme of insane obsession, the idea of your every action and thought being led by it.
p
17 March, 2024
remembered what I originally wanted to post about
a potato I bought this week:
also was too unhappy with last night's drawing so I needed to draw something else to feel better -
take form
12 March, 2024
hello,
I recently Made a Friend.
When I found him he was all decrepit and lost, barely holding on
I gave him warmth, sustenance, he grew back his wings
he had healed enough and was ready to see the world again, so he was given a face.
he is still filled with uncertainty and anxiety but fortunately for him, his gracious creator has given him a purpose he will be holding my dishwashing brush he needs to worry no more
projects,teppy update
6 March, 2024
hello,
two updates:
projects page done
teppy's sozai merged with teppy's layouts. The sozai is now in the sidebar of the layouts site
man I don't know what the h*ll I'm doing with the teppy sites but I think merging them wasn't too bad of an idea. There's already a decent amount of people using the layouts site so I think putting the graphics on the side is ok. But I have to make actually useful graphics the current ones don't seem Good Enough
the projects page was cool to do because I got to reflect on what role each site played in my life. All the sites references played a HUGE role which is why I felt it was necessary to specify "LIFE-CHANGING inspiration". this is serious stuff
also damn I have 5 sites I'm juggling now my file management skills are being put to the test (I am failing)
-
I noticed when I was doing the projects page that Flip Flop Flyin' was put offline. Which made me feel like I lost a friend. It's that feeling where you don't talk for a while and then when you go to message them you find that they've deleted you without saying anything. no really it's a sizable deal to me, I loved that site, it had so much soul and art. hope it comes back.
how will your online presence die?
teppy layout update
5 March, 2024
hello,
I updated teppy's layouts' layout today.
before:
after:
kind of forced myself to do it when I didn't want to, so it took over 6 hours to draw which is absolutely ridiculous it was supposed to be a brain splice between the old layout and teppy's sozai website, because they are going to be merged teppy is going to DIE is it better is it worse it's probably worse because it's unfitting for a 00s layouts site to appear like this. an utter thematic failure just like me
I would do more things but I haven't been able to sleep properly lately. one of those times where everything feels blurred together and you don't feel here. NO ONE is here anyway
another update is that I imported previous posts. if you scroll down then you'll see the full archive list. nothing new there though. they're divided by 6-month time periods
a boot
28 February, 2024
hello
here's a card I made yesterday
I'm thinking the brush strokes should have been horizontal but I think it turned out well still
Some things which have made me happy recently -
The recent pet for MTGA, Tunnel Tipster, who now accompanies me for each match:
Is that not the cutest thing you have seen? And he claps for you if you do something right (rare in my case as I do not know how to play). That's the kind of reassurance everyone needs.
Secondly, this tape roll: It looks like a normal tape roll but it's actually stacked stickers.
is beauty.
As for website updates, the about page is up now
wahoo
I would do more updates but I was up until 4AM today on a server migration at work. It was crazy but I did it and it felt pretty good I am proud of myself
Faviman
27 February, 2024
hi,
awehauwh
The portal page (cocolat) had been completed It is where the updates list is posted as well as links out to the other sites I decided to keep cocolat since ... Well, I don't want to let it go.
I could have done better with the page, but the general homey feeling of starting off in a desktop environment is achieved fine I think As you can see, there's icons for two more sites (â´â—¡`â) one for teppy's layouts/sozai, and one for crafts. These two will likely take longer. The teppy's layout site has actually been doing really well despite my absence from it, where people are posting questions and feedback. So I think I'll try putting more time into that project. The plan is to give it a new layout, merge teppy's sozai into it, and I had a cool idea of making a video for each layout. It would take a lot of effort, but I haven't explored the video medium much so I think it would be fun.
Favicons were also created for each of the sites so far -
And with this blog, I merged it with a secret blog I used to have for a bit :D Since cocolat didn't feel like a place where I could talk about most parts of myself, I found myself creating another one. This layout is a successor of that one. The fishies gif on the left was moved directly from that blog iteration. The posts are all pretty Bad, especially since I never planned to have it be really visible near me, but I guess we all need to face ourselves at some point. A lot of my past cocolat posts were embarassing anyway.
Next steps:
Merge teppy's layouts with sozai
Split blog posts by 6-month increments as paginamtion
Import previous posts
Projects page
About page
Make craft site (a very very simple site)
Redo most of teppy's layouts - there's a lot of room for improvement on readability
Make debudev page on the NorthOfGoodtown game
slee
EXILED
19 February, 2024
hello,
Finished the ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddrawings site It is of course oldweb themed! I didn't know how it was going to turn out but am actually very happy with it. We may visit it by clicking thise URL -> https://exilesoughtfinale.neocities.org/
Draft pic:
reasons why it is cool:
iframes.
the content area is a lot wider now, which is so very much better for viewing larger images
everything I make is great
Initially the site was meant to be named "Exiled Genesis Genius". But that sounds too similar to something else φ(゜▽゜*)♪ And these emojis? I know they're all messed up when it gets sent to neocities. but I think it's funny so I'm keeping it like this ^
My sites are still missing an "Updates" list for when I make changes. I still don't know where to put it: - cocolat home page, or - home page of this blog
input is appreciated! oh wait, I don't have a guestbook either.
gato grande
17 February, 2024
hihi,
I finished the site for my coding projects. I'm not sure what this theme is. perhaps corporate dread? :D
the poor guy the cat I created on SAI, the color palette chosed from Lospec, layout prototype made on Fireworks, the banner background created on Aseprite. please take a look at the site here -> https://debudev.neocities.org/ it contains the content which used to be on the 'software' page of my previous site.
i still need to make a post about the game jam game. i still need to do a lot of things.
I don't actually know what direction I'm trying to go in here. it feels like I'm trying to go 6 directions are once which I'm not sure is a valid strategy but it does keep one busy ( ̄┰ ̄*)ゞ
next I'll need to work on the digital drawings site. i'm not sure if I'll keep the coco.lat home page - I planned to have it be the place where all the timestamped updates would be across all sites, but maybe I should put that on this blog instead? I'm not sure.
I'll come up with something.
manifold love
14 February, 2024
Maybe I can use this blog as a substitute for not having friednes to talkasd to? ( •Ì€ ω •Ì )✧
Went to the cat cafe with my mother today, it was almost spooky how well the cats knew to do their work (to approach you and act cute) They were all very fluffy and full of static electricity
I will be working hard to conjure up the other layouts. you work hard too. take care
hell world
13 February, 2024
hello
I had an issue with how together everything was before, because I feel like my pieces shouldn't be with me
and by that I mean: The things I make are its own entities, and I consider them perfect - as silly as most creations may be. Compared to me, an imperfect, it is a shame for them to be seen with me.
It is like if you were a failing alcoholic parent just trying not to get in the way of your children; you want them to shine on their own.
So I got to make this really cool separate site. And I get to make the other sites cool too.
The other shards will be:
Digital drawings
Craft/IRL drawings
Code-related projects
you are currently on the Thoughts shard. i hope that I can be another silly happy internet person here.
anyway, lots of things to do (â´â—¡`â)
will be pulling in old posts in here eventually
north of goodtown
29 January, 2024
As tradition goes, we have suffered through another game jam