personal laboratorie

31/F/AU · JP

professional stray dog and serial experimenter

warmth seeker
world eater

Status@2024-10-23

Listening to
elegy, Musa - right now
Playing
im the one getting played
Reading
attached (78%)

Blog

mastery

22 October, 2024

Hello

Finally finished the car course I bought 7 years ago - 122 episodes, 14 hours
The instructor, Alex, was fun to learn from; the type of person who you'd want to listen about any topic
Photo of some notes
What stood out the most was his high level of mastery in his crafts
I want to have that level of mastery over something
Using this Dreyfus model chart, some things I could try to achieve mastery in:

  • CodeIgniter & jQuery (Current level: Proficient)
    Slowly grinding to Expert during use at work. Otherwise looking to use it to make a video game with
  • 3D Modeling (Novice)
    Still find it painful to try but maybe I just have to keep smashing my head against the brick wall until I stop feeling
  • Making Whipped Cream Cakes (Competent)
    Can't do this one because it makes me fat

Alternative list:

  • MapleStory (Current level: Expert Beginner)
    It would make 14 year old me very happy but 40 year old me very unhappy
  • Collecting funny pictures from the internet
    What this isn't even a valid entry how can you be a master at this no you don't understand I love spending time on it I could spend months browsing trash piles of junk to dig out the nice things and categorizing each picture into organized entriesin my Obsidian vault
  • Getting approval and love from strangers on the internet (Novice)
    What I'm talking about is committing to a social media account which posts drawings
    Side-mastery would be "making drawings that please the general populace"

Another ideal mastery would be one over their own body, like yoga or bouldering or weight lifting
But I think the closest I'm willing to go with that would be working with clay
That's kind of physical right?

~ + ~ + ~ + ~

Speaking of mastery, one thing that's been keeping me away from Anything Productive At All was MapleStory, which was making me enjoy my day-to-day life too much. But I recently hit a milestone on two accounts so now I'm declaring myself mostly banned from the game

Hyperion 270 Bishop
Kronos 270 Bowmaster

~ + ~ + ~ + ~

Cool edit of an inktober entry by a friend with their caption

"one single cell divided into two, now it has company"


pseudoskincare

9 October, 2024

hello

post about skin and hair care

topics which i know not much about

skin:

  • cica cleanser - i use this to wash face twice a day
  • cica toner - use after night wash
  • cica moisturizer - use at night sometimes
  • cica vitamin c - it's in a drip bottle which means i feel like a mad scientist witch and that is cool. use in morning after wash
  • cica retinol 0.1 - modern chemical thing. it's known to cause birth defects. why are we putting things that cause birth defects on our skin that's crazy. i use this a few times a week
  • hadalabo moisturizer - i never used to use this but I now do before guasha face massage
  • hadalabo toner - I don't use this anymore but I used this twice a day for probably 10 years or so. very nice
  • guasha metal massage thing - i kind of follow half of this youtube short tutorial, she makes the movements look really smooth but it actually feels like grinding a skateboard on a rough concrete edge. i actually like this massage though I do it at 3am when i'm half dead. at this point getting better sleep would be better for me than doing an alien face massage

i took in a lot of skincare data recently, the new things are adding vitamin c, retinol, and the alien massage. I had tried cica during a holiday and it seemed to work really well with my skin so i'm trying it again. but chances are my skin was just nicer because i was on a holiday and wasn't worried or sad about dying alone in a ditch. the skin is not nice right now because i spent two days crying, and with the liquids being more acidic than human skin, it's causing it to be really itchy i have red dotty areas around my eyes and mouth i look like an aids patient and feel like one too (laugh)

next up hair

  • morocco shampoo - expensive shampoo isn't supposed to go all bubbly. i miss the cheap bubbles...
  • morocco conditioner - this thing is thick
  • morocco leave-in conditioner - reluctant use but it's supposedly a necessity
  • olaplex 6 oil - this is incredibly fun and it smells really nice i will use this for the rest of my life just for fun

my friend vulka has been helping a lot with appearance stuff after finding out i look like a stray dog, so he started with referring me to the blowout professor who is this jacked man with no hair it's pretty funny but he's very gentle with making videos for women. his video on youtube

my hair has no problems with breakage but i do have problems with hair loss on months where i am very sad, i was still recovering from last year but the loss started again a few weeks ago so hopefully that stops soonish

i tried following some of the advice and it did yield results that I will probably never do again

  • photo of hair after hair mask + heat protectant + blowout hairdry - this is never happening again but it was interesting to see my hair take shape in this way for the first time
  • photo of hair after the above 4 stuff - this looks pretty nice without effort, but the problem is still that I don't know how to style hair around face
  • photo of hair a couple years ago - i miss having long hair. this probably looks terrible objectively because it seems dreadlocky but i really liked it. i miss my old hair before the hair loss T - T maybe some day i will experience this again

i think in the end hair and skin health is only to do with happiness and genetics/hormones

i would recommend the olaplex oil and face massage. also the cica cleaner/toner combo is very gentle and pleasant so i would recommend that too.

though they recently came out with something freaky, they call it a reedle shot

there's nano needles that's supposed to help your skin?
what if you get that in your eyes?
people do comment that it feels prickly (the product images don't show the needles, so the people buying it don't know what it looks like at that scale)
skincare culture is actually wild

b careful out dere


sunny

27 September, 2024

helo

a good thing feeling happening full of joy.

- * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *

it is inktober soon
will be using this prompt list this year
i am completely out of practice when it comes to pen-and-paper this year so we will see how it goes
hopefully will get to do it with h and rab if they ever coME BACK TO the intERNET!!!
we recently started reading the book 'crying of lot 49' which is a paranoid fiction novel, i have finished it. it was
confusing

- * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *

a couple weeks ago it was geoguessr's world cup grand finals,
and it was really fun to watch, and I recommend it!
here is the timestamp for the final battle

I think it's such a cool form of esport, where it's based on memory recall, or trivia knowledge, or quirky meta knowledge (the copyright logo, the sky JPEG artifact patterns, the camera car model,), it is just so insanely unique and niche. I was trying to think of other possible forms, but couldn't really, maybe some comical ones about speed coding, or live photoshop/video editing battles, speed-stalking a target? :D that one could be unsettlingly cool with all the text dumps of data leaks and whatnot


friday13th

16 September, 2024

hello,

vaha surprised me with a cool gift on friday, which was a compilation of my drawings in a video with a cheerful song.

watch vaha's video [33mb mp4]

it still makes me smile a lot watching it, the sunny track going through the SEVERE mood swings of the drawings are really funny to me.
it also feels wild having 14 years of stuff flowing in your brain in the span of 2 minutes. I mentally time warp to the instances - where I was, what I was feeling, thinking, at each drawing. it makes me feel a little embarassed actually.
thank you vaha

 

+*~+*~+*~+*~+*~+*~+

 

I have been consuming a lot of information about people's communication/thought styles recently,
and if you've seen that kind of thing, especially on youtube, you find that it's a lot of pointing out flaws in one's childhood;
and I don't think these people mean to, but it puts a heavy focus on negative aspects of a person's childhood, of what it was lacking, what bad things happened, and why they are so broken today because of it.
and sure, identifying causes can help a lot, but i feel like I've experienced a lot of people irl first-hand, even those in their 30s and 40s, hyperfocusing on their bad childhood and being permanently down from it.
so i made a list of cool things from my own childhood after being a little affected by the waves of these downers
da list
some of the items in here I had nearly forgotten about, and I found myself giggling as I wrote them down.
sure, in between these were bad events that have caused problems that I will likely never be rid of, but that's just how life is for everyone. probably. people are beautifully varied this way! :D
the list was a fun exercise.

the list also got me thinking; "when did my childhood end, if there was an end?" and it's probably at 13, when I first got a job and also when a grandmother died as a 'first relative death'. which may be on the later side compared to others. I would ask the people around me but it probably sounds like a very depressing question for some so I shan't ask :DD

have nice day


do or die

28 August, 2024


i loom (literally)

5 August, 2024

hello

i tried some more embroidery -

since it's autumn I started with an autumn-themed one,
except,
it's not autumn,
it's summer.
I realized this after having completed the acorn

 

sunflower

 

i am pretty happy with the progress

if i was to describe embroidery, it would be that it's wobbly pixel art, with no zoom tool.
you really have to look into which specific hole you're needling through
and it hurts when you stab the needle down your finger where the base of your nail is

the biggest improvement between the two was the maintenance of the back of the pieces -

the autumn one got absolutely ridiculous because I only paid attention to the surface appearance, which left a lot of bad buildup that later resulted in more stabs, harder weaving, and undesirable threads coming through the surface.

there's a metaphor there somewhere.

 

 

with the addition of these two pieces, asdf atelier feels like it has enough content to put on the projects page.

 

·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·

 

while playing maplestory, I suddenly came to realize that the game has gotten pretty ridiculous

the game borders on irony
it would be cool to see how an MMO player in 2008 would react to this
i think it's so funny.

 


i loom

29 July, 2024

so no one told me that,

when I was making a room maker game,

that i would have to draw all the assets,

that's kind of

m e s s e d   u p

there is still so much to do and so much time
so much time

 

●・○・●・○・●・

 

4am singing stephaine poetri tunes to my phone
STEREO LEFT: pc fan (a little far)
STEREO RIGHT: me (too close)

[audio]

 

 


drag and drop earthly cares

20 July, 2024

hi

as i was thinking of next steps for the game
and as i am drowning in self-imposed MMORPG chores

i wanted there to be a point system where i could feel reward and progress for doing things

and i thought about how i miss the websites in ~2008 where you can freely drag-and-drop pixel furniture

so i combined both in this little demo game

(view video in new tab)
(pls don't click full screen on the vivideo because the pixels will be stretched and blurry)

you can see me struggling with the concept of "vertical" and "horizontal" (i struggle with a lot of concepts, you see,) as well as with the numerous bugs already in the game

but it's nice

I think it's nice


july

1 July, 2024

heurrrghhiii

it is july, which means a new pagination page!

i have been feeling around at what making ratsgame would be like, here is a little demo:

the idea is this:

I have two grids at the moment, one that lays over the top of everything, which would be what you would interface with
then the "stuff" (player, npcs, walls) is under that,
and then the game board grid is under that.

at the moment I am thinking the board will be a 2D array, with an ID for each tile type.
(there will be lots of tile IDs)
and then the functions just look up the tile index to see what's possible with that board cell.

*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+

and for the visual concept (versoin 0.1) -

the experiment here was to try using a color palette with actual colors,
instead of the monochromatic palette I usually go for

but the moment i started the coloring, everything went downhill in my brain

i do not wish to live in a world with colors which are not [blue variant]

i simply do not have the skill to use more than 1 hue

changes:

  • probably go back to one-hue palette
  • halve the size of everything
  • add the ring skills thing to the top of the screen

archive:
2024-07 2024-01 2023-07 2023-01 2022-07 2022-01 2021-07 2021-01 2020-07 2020-01 2019-07 2019-01 2018-07 2018-01 2017-07 2017-01 2016-07 2016-01 2015-07 2015-01 2014-07 2014-01 2013-07